Getting back up.....slowly

The world wasn't instant brightness the next morning but it is slowly showing me that it hasn't forgotten the recipe so I know that it is there somewhere.
Just a quick one to keep you updated, I had my meeting with the Associate Dean (who is lovely by the way). She is keeping everything confidential for now, deciding that if we tell everyone then it will bias my grading. Instead, she is trusting me to know when I feel unwell and then I am to inform my clinical educator on that day as patient safety (and my own) is paramount.

I really appreciate the fact that she feels she can trust me to make that judgment and this way I can show my capabilities naturally and then hopefully pass the competencies in a truthful way. I still need to show that I am capable, something that would be hard if I was having to 'prove' myself while not being 'allowed' near certain patients because of somehow being 'unsafe'...something that got in my way last year and created some complicated situations.

I would never put anyone else in danger so I know that she is right in trusting me, its just nice that she feels she can! And I also like the fact that she is wanting to keep in touch so we are going to meet up again in a couple of weeks just to see how everything is going. I feel like this shows that she really does want to offer me support and is not just saying it. I have also been given the name of someone else I can talk to about any aspect of the course (in confidence) should I wish to do so.

I am quite relieved as now I know the right person knows about me and also feel better knowing there are ways and means to get through even if it means taking a slightly longer route that normal.

Next on my list is to go and see my student advisor at Disability Information and Support (who I have been seeing for the last 2 years on and off) to get my paper work in (proving I am elegible for extra assistance) and organise access to the special quiet room in the library and my digital recorder and also anything else that I may find useful this year that she may suggest :)

I go and see a new dr, early next week too (my friend who also has CRPS has been seeing her for a couple of years) Lovely Jo is going to introduce me so that will be helpful and I think it will be nice having a dr who knows and understands how CRPS can affect a person on so many levels.

But there are still somethings going on that are a bit stressful. There are aspects of my life that have got more complicated, all I can say is it seems to be turning into a series of unfortunate events, but overall I feel much calmer-more in control.

And if a bit more in control is how I feel then that is nothing to be sneezed at, a few days ago I was drowning but now I am treading water-a much better place to be even if I still have to learn to swim to the shore.