Its strange how time has just flown by...2 years ago today I was nervously waiting in the hospital for my first ever surgery. I was about to let a surgeon cut me up and dislocate my hip (and mess about) in the hope that his work would allow me to walk again. Just walk again...I wasn't worried about being able to run or skate or bike or dance (ok well I was a hoping a little about dancing), just the thought that I might be able to walk normally and be able to keep up with my friends and not be in so much pain.
2 years on, I am walking mostly without a limp (and when I do its has nothing to do with my hip), I can ride my bike, run a little and dance too! My hip is pretty good, I've not had the pre-surgery pain come back ever and I am still amazed each time I go to tie my shoe laces or try and paint my toenails that I can actually do it.
I do have residual issues from the surgery itself, I still have visible swelling around the incision site, I also have quite a bit of pain all round the incision too so when I bump it (or someone bumps into me) it is rather painful.
I don't have amazing ROM but that is because I haven't worked hard to improve it, I feel safer know that it cant go too far (I still have some impingement so was told to be careful anyway).
But despite these surgical issues, I would do it again in a heart beat...being 21 at the time and not able to do so much and being in constant pain because of a FIXable problem was horrible.
I only wish that my surgeon had been right when he said that my fixing my hip would also deal with the pain issue of my foot (now known to be CRPS). Had I known then, what I know now I wouldn't have been so optimistic. But at least my hip got fixed so I am able to do so much more than I had been able to do then-it was worth all the hard work and more.
So Happy 2nd Birthday remodeled right hip!
Posts
November.
3 weeks ago
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing that story! What an incredible journey you have been on... indeed, I'm impressed you are able to walk, run a bit and dance a bit!
Although, not to sound totally self-absorbed, but when I read how others are faring, I wonder why it's such a struggle for me to just walk a little bit each day, never mind dancing or, heaven forbid, running!
How wonderful you're able to enjoy these things, even painting you toes!
Thanks Lisa :)
You don't self-absorbed, its a perfectly reasonable question...
I never said I enjoy running (I don't but being able to do it if I have to I find important), I love dancing, the music and being with lovely people as I feel like I really belong in the group and they are another part of my family. I don't dance every dance and I dont do any of these things pain free and I'm not always able to do it. But sometimes your will overcomes doing things that as a person you are unable to let go. I tried badminton and some other things and I decide it was not worth it, I didn't enjoy what I was doing enough to put myself through the hurt. I struggle to walk around sometimes, especially the day to day mundane things that are essential-we all struggle but it is doing these things that then enables us to do the enjoyable things ever now and then.
I also think that I have reasonable med coverage, I know and am haunted by the pain that was before drugs...I am thankful that I am able to take these drugs and live with the side effects, I dont like it but I decided that I would rather keep as much of my old identity and if this is how I do it then so be it. If I was older, and had lived more and done some of my dreams then maybe I wouldn't have such a strong stubborn streak in me going 'I dont care about the pain' and things would be different for me, I dont know. I just know that as long as I can do something I am not going to let anything take it away and I certainly wasn't going to go through that surgery and the grueling rehab to then throw it all away.
I hope this is semi understandable and you get what I am trying to say?
Felicia
Yes, I do get what you're saying. Hopefully I'll be able to get into this Pain Program at the local hospital and perhaps there I shall finally get enough comprehensive treatment (not just random drug trials) and some physio or whatever that I'll be able to do an occasional dance, too... I mean, I can now, for a bit, but I 'pay for it' later, if you know what I mean (I'm sure you do, sadly).
Thank you for the explanation, too; it makes me feel a little less... well, less! I've been feeling embarrassed at how little I seem to be able to do these days compared with other CRPSers and then find myself worrying I'm 'wimping out' or something! I believe I'm doing my best, so now I will focus on getting that help to get back so of 'me'.
Post a Comment