Valentines day seems a good a day as any to ramble about this, I was going to because of something that occurred yesterday but was good timing.

I often hear people talk about how once they had an accident or were diagnosed with 'whatever' and were no longer able to do all the things they used to, they ended up losing all or many of their previous friends. I can hear you all saying 'yes, that happened to me too..." Some people are even unfortunate enough to get pushed away by family as well.

Friends and family are an important part of psychological well being, they are there for support, guidance, reinforcement, motivation, nurture, trust, interdependence, sharing experience, building confidence, socialising with, heck even to argue with.

Losing friends and family is very hurtful, it affects a persons self confidence, self worth and outlook on life among other things, they can begin to feel unloved. This can have devastating consequences in some situations. Being isolated is a lonely and scary place to be, more so if you are having to adjust to a life that is different to how it had been.

Supportive friends and family help keep you focused, keep you smiling, give you something to laugh about, someone to share with. When you have suddenly lost a part of who you were, having friends keep you grounded and remember that you are still you, are priceless. Without my network of friends I wouldn't be where I am today, I wouldn't have people to turn to when things fall apart, when something didn't go to plan or when I had a bad day, they are who help me pick up the pieces. As someone with chronic pain, having friends who understand the yo-yo that occurs on a day to day basis is the difference between failure and success.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a person who has touched my life in a very special way. We don't see each other often but I know that no matter how much time in between each meeting he will always be there for me and I will always be able to count on his reliability. In fact we were talking about something and he told me that I would always be able to count on him and that he wanted me to know that he would never let me down. That meant so much to me, just to have him realise that I needed to hear it outloud because I have been hurt so many times before. He has been like a father to me in many ways, someone I can talk to and get advice from, share the silly stories that are my life without fear of being judged. I am a vulnerable person, I still have feelings and I still get hurt despite what I tell myself.

So today I just want to say thank you to each and every one of my friends, the ones who have stuck by me through thick and thin, not everyone did so you have shown the stuff of true friendship. All my new friends who I found some way or another along my journey of rediscovery, you have befriended me for who I am, not who I was and that means a lot. To each and every one of you for being there for me, through the good times and the bad, for giving me a reason to get up in the morning and not giving up on me. You have shown me the real reason of friendship, I just hope I am able to show that to you.

“In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”-Aristotle


Tough Cookie said...

Amen! Without my support system, I would be hopeless. I'm so glad you have the ones that count in your life, because when we become sick, we realize that some of our friendships were just trivial or not meant to be. Having a small number of people you love close to you is better than 1 million friends you sort of know and like.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi my lovely friend

Oh how you have blossomed into a beautiful young woman. I cannot believe how stunning (and indeed well) you look. You are also so beautiful inside. I am totally in awe of how you have come through so much, "fought on" despite the odds and have succeeded in every endeavour. You are truly an inspiration to me. I wish I had your inner strength but alas I am a weak person by comparison.
I am so proud of you. I often think of what you must have gone through in your childhood – the good times but the not so good times. I think of your many accidents, the pain you have gone through (and are still going through) and I weep.
I think of you dancing and being happy and I smile.
I look into your eyes and melt.
What a fantastic future you have.
Be strong - be successful - find happiness and love.
I will ALWAYS be here for you.
All my love
Your SS (Secret Scientist) for ever

Lisa Moon said...

Agreed, heartily!

Where would I be without such wonderful encouragement and support?!

And as Tough Cookie notes, when we're sick/injured, etc. we realise just what is important in our lives and the less important stuff just falls away... it can seem painful, but in a way, it's like a rebirth - coming into what is meant to happen for us in our lives, right now.

After all, it's how I met you and Tough Cookie, too and for that, I'm incredibly grateful!

Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. :)

Anonymous said...

true friends are like diamonds, precious and rare,
False friends are like autumn leaves,
found eveywhere...

love you butterfly