I was semi watching a film on TV (my concentration span is fairly minimal...) and heard that quote. I really felt like it was saying something to me and I love it.

I am not pretty, or funny, or outgoing, or popular. I am not a lot of things but one thing I seem to be really good at is not being able to fit in. Its not easy being different for whatever reason (family upbringing, religion, disability etc) and I've spent my life wishing I could just fit in like everybody else. I hated being teased and picked on, being left out of games, not being accepted because I was different, and my self esteem was shattered. So I have spent my life striving to fit in, try and do what everyone else is, and fade into the background. I hated wearing different clothes, the rules my parents had, the responsibilities I had at home, you name it, if it made me different to others then I did not like it.

But no matter how hard I try to 'fit' in, I still end up being different. Having RSD has stopped me from ever being that normal person. I was trying so hard to play this year right, I ended up informing the school and keeping them updated and now I have this weird illness drag out (which has been hypothesized as rsd related), mess up my ability to just study and prepare for exams and sit them the way everybody else will be. Already I have been told to fill out special consideration for all my upcoming exams, something I was really hoping to get through this year without having to do. I wanted to prove that I could do things just the same way as everybody else and yet again I feel like I am so far behind and the only thing lef to do is claim impairment (which has been explained to me is warranted despite me thinking otherwise).

But maybe I am just not supposed to be that person who 'fits' in, and maybe, just maybe I should embrase being different and find confidence in who I am as a person and stop trying to be like everyone else.
From today I am going to make that quote my thought to remember. The thing I tell myself when I am too scared to speak up, too scared to have an opinion, too scared to stand out and be different.

Its not the people just like everyone else who gets remembered...its the ones who stand out, the ones who are different..they are the ones who get remembered.


Nicola said...

You may think you don't fit in what is seen as 'normal' in this society - but why would you want too? Your experiences and who you are make you more interesting and captivating than most people. Think of how strong you are and everything you have been through and achieved - most people would have given up a long time ago! I have never been in the 'normal' range and if you can't be yourself then it's not your life you are living!! Everyone is a living miracle though most are scared to stand out from the crowd. Just think if you were not you - would you know the people you know today and would you have touched the lives of those people like you have? I think not, we love you and who you are. It's the normal people who I feel sorry for. You made a difference to me when I met you & though we are not able to catchup as often and we are both so busy you know I am always here and I would go through my hip accident again as meeting you and seeing what you had been through and still are going through helped me greatly :) Everyday you meet people and give something to them even though you may not realise it. If you were not yourself then you could not impact people like you do! Be Extraordinary Be Yourself and make those 'normal people' wish they were like you!! I really hope you have a good long weekend & I have not had a chance to check out your blog as often as I would like - I love the new format it's beautiful! x0x Hugs x0x Nic P.S Hopefully that makes sense - hip is flaring with the cold so have foggy painkiller head this afternoon :)

Lisa Moon said...

"But maybe I am just not supposed to be that person who 'fits' in, and maybe, just maybe I should embrase being different and find confidence in who I am as a person and stop trying to be like everyone else."

I'd love you to strike out the word MAYBE there and keep the rest - LOVE the rest!

ABSOLUTELY embrace being different, enjoy the fact that you're unique, not some sheep (or lemming!) which follows the herd.

PLEASE don't try to be like everyone else; I for one often don't like most of 'everyone else' and purposely have friends who ARE different because I AM TOO.

And last but DEFINITELY NOT LEAST: YES YES YES!!! find confidence as who you are as a person!

You're a wonderful, sweet, kind,attractive, loyal, fierce when you have your beliefs, brilliant young woman!!! Gosh, Felicia, everyone should be trying to be LIKE YOU! SERIOUSLY!

You are more than an inspiration; you give me hope, support and such kindness that I shall be forever grateful to have found you - through the also wonderful (and more!) Maria!

My dear, as a young woman we all go through this (and it can be a lifelong experience, finding who you are - and it can change/grow, which is GOOD!). You have the added challenge of not only keeping up with a tough, top-notch uni program, but you're doing it with an incredibly difficult, severly painful, disabling disorder which has many faces and sneaky symptoms.

Our views on god may differ somewhat, but I do know this; some people say god never gives you more than you can handle.

Personally, I believe that god would choose someone like you in particular (and someone like me!) because it gives us the impetus to learn things, to do things, and to reach out in ways we might not otherwise.

As terrible as RSD/CRPS is, it is also true that there have been benefits - truly, 'meeting' you and Maria and several others, even online, have been such a wonderfully enriching experience.

Sure, if I didn't have CRPS there would be other things I'd be doing. And if I hadn't had my son so young, I'd have done things differently, too. I really believe that because I chose to have my son that my love for him helped me realise what I did and did not want in my life much more clearly and sooner than would have happened otherwise!

When others were partying and what not, I was HAPPY to be caring for my son. Were there drawbacks to having him young? You bet. Yet things happen for a reason and he's helped shape who I am and I'm proud of myself.

I hope using that analogy makes sense...

Lisa Moon said...

Also, I wanted to say that for me, as someone who's older (not THAT old, but older!) the self-confidence that I'd earned, the self-esteem and self-image that I held of myself all took quite the beating after developing CRPS. Suddenly I was someone who wasn't able to DO things the same way. I walked funny. I felt such intense pain for so long, I was miserable to be around (and still am at times, I know!). Would I become dependent on public income support, a dependent, someone less-than???

All of these things are hugely frightening for many people and I've wrestled with them all. Still do, actually. And in the end, I'll come out stronger. Know why?

Let me tell you. I'm not what I'd consider to be the person who ever got noticed for her looks, generally. And when you're pushing a walker, let me tell you, I think the chances of meeting someone romantically dwindle to nearly nil!

AND you know what? Once again, if someone doesn't care to know ME for who I am, not how I look, or what I do for a living, how much money I make, the clothes I wear or the car I drive. Whether or not I need 'special help' to clean my home or take a test at school does NOT make me a lesser person! And the same goes for you, my dear, sweet Butterfly!

You're lovely name is so apt; you're indeed a gorgeous butterfly, just coming out of her chrysalis, unfurling her still-damp, crumpled wings, gathering strength and keeping an eye out for safety's sake. And as you grow stronger, those beautiful wings are spreading, showing such brilliant, amazing colour, richly textured with patterns only nature could conceive, and such light but strength of steel... getting ready for the day you'll catch a breeze and fly and astound us all with your grace!

Such an apt name,yes.

I see you growing stronger, my dear, though it feels to you like you're going backwards. Know that you're NOT, you are ON your path and you just need to keep pushing along.

When it's tough - and it surely often is - we, *I*, am/are here for you, to hold your hand, to help you navigate the rough patches and to tend your wounds should you fall.

Embrace your differences indeed, my dear woman, for not only will it get you remembered, it will help you create a real, meaningful difference in the world.

I could not imagine feeling such sisterhood and love for someone I've not met in person, yet know that to me, you are my sister in spirit and I am always thinking of you, sending love, friendship and support. I am here for you anytime, for any reason.

Thank you so much for caring for me, too and for being such a true friend.

With so much love and support,

Lisa <3

Anonymous said...


WHO says your not beautiful, or funny or outgoing or popular????

You ARE beautiful, OH SO Beautiful!!!
And Gracefull, what I'd give for an ounce of that!!!

You are funny, and not in a funny sad way like some people we know... you have an amazing sense of humour and irony which I love...
and when you laugh the room lights up!!!

As for outgoing.... you are more outgoing that millions of other ppl... you are out there DOING... Proving ppl like M(head pain in the ass) that although the odds (in her eyes anyway) are against you you CAN AND WILL prove the doubters wrong. Now, My Petal, that may not be the outgoing you were aiming for but it takes more guts and determination to JUST DO LIFE than it does to throw yourself off a bridge or out of a plane!!!
And you are popular and have friends, you attract people with your charm, something else I'd kill for!!!

Who wants to fit in?

Do you really wanna be another drone?

You stand out for all the right reasons and although you don't feel it, take it from someone on the outside looking in, you are all these things and more... And that makes you more special than you will ever really get to appreciate...
Well, not until you are an old fart like me!!!

And as for the past, yes it makes us who we are and one day you and I will come to appreciate that, but in the mean time remember that it has made you a far more caring, loving, undertanding, compassionate and tolerant individual... and INDIVIDUALITY (ok, my spelling sucks) is more important than fitting any mold that others might cast.

Above all you are loved..
Don't you forget it.

Love you Butterfly

Anonymous said...

And now I read the other posts...
Well, they just reinforce my case!!!!

Just keep being the best YOU you can be and let the rest of the drones be the ones who have to fit in around you.

I Love YOU, not them!!!
Well, maybe some of them, but you come top of my list!!!