She's on my side

I have an ally and it feels so good knowing she is on my side. The associate dean actually said that she knew I had what it takes to do this, but my body was being difficult just now.
She was really nice and understanding...I felt so bad that I was presenting with yet another problem, but as she said, I couldn't do anything about the free fluid and being ill and how it affected me and that it was important to listen to my body and rest if that was what I needed to do. That I cant do any more than I am just now and she realises that and also realises that I dont like the situation so I am doing as much as I can.

She is going to try and sort out the missed terms test but said it is not something that gets resat next year so I'm not sure what will get done about it. Its only finals that get offered as specials at the beginning of the following year. I'm also to fill out special consideration for all my upcoming practicals and exams because of how my preparation and performance will have been affected and she said if I do not pass anything then it should be taken into consideration and not affect terms (rhis round most of them are internals for full year papers, only one is a final exam). I'm hoping that I will scrape through but just now I'm not sure I have a proper handle on anything, fingers crossed thats just a feeling and I'm not as behind as I think.

So thats one meeting down, yet another meeting tomorrow with the disability office to see how they can help me sort out this mess. I'm hoping they have a good plan of attack to help me wade through all the missed classes etc. I'm also hoping that I dont cry...I always end up crying in these meetings and I feel so weak when I do, and that I must look pathetic. I just want to show them I can do this and its hard having to admit to needing help when you pretend to look so normal to the outside world. Its like a double edged sword "I'm fine, I'm fine...but I need help..."

I feel fake