First of all I want to say, last week was a particularly hard week but that happens, and its going to continue to happen because that's how life goes. I just hope that with practice I get through them a bit better than the last one went. Thank you all so much for the support you show and continue to show me. Knowing I have people near and far who care about how I am going brings a smile to my face, and well, what is life without smiles and friends?

Come Friday I was about done with trying, frankly I was pretty tired and frustrated with myself, somehow being 'needy' was unacceptable. I went to see my student adviser K and she really helped me sort out a few things that had really been messing with my head. Once again I feel justified about needing help and think I can start asking for it again. I also semi believe that I am a 'coper', I was really worried that she would think I was not seen as I pretty much end up in tears every time we meet up.
A surprise was waiting for me after my appointment (actually I think it tickled a few innocent observers lol), I was 'kidnapped' by a person kind enough to send me several messages when she thought she may have missed me (but no, I spent longer with K than expected, but that was because I really needed to talk) anyways meeting me in reception was Jo who quickly hurried me off to catch the bus, and thoughtful kidnapper that she is, even paid for my bus fare. We took the bus to her hideout and I got to relax for a whole afternoon.
Those hours in the sun, away from the stresses of uni, home, everything reminded me how to relax again...something I have been needing to do for a while I think.

That wasn't all the kidnapping involved...lunch at some point, photo journeys and a pretty huge surprise in the way of a belated birthday gift too. One so special that it will involve a few posts all of its own over the next week or two (I forewarned you) as I have a bit to say about them.

The world is now a brighter place once again (and being locked out of the house for over an hour Friday night didn't dampen my happiness either).

Jo
You are amazing, a wonderful friend, around you I feel safe, I feel like my load is lightened and I know I don't have to play pretend. You are like the big sister I never had, just being with you and knowing you are never too far away makes me not feel so alone. You make me stronger and a simple hug from you scares away the fear that sometimes threatens to overwhelm me. You never have expectations, we don't even have to talk but just being in your presence creates a certain calmness that is hard to describe.
I thank God so much for sharing you with me, I know that your life is pretty tough on so many levels and the fact you can still share yourself with me, the way that you do, well there are no words that describe just how much you mean to me.
May God be with you
All my love
Butterfly

7 comments:

Lisa Moon said...

Oh, what a lovely, lovely post and a tribute to a true, loving and absolutely wonderful-sounding friend! I'm very happy that you have her there with you! :)

I am SO glad that you were 'kidnapped' and had the chance to get away for a while; you so richly deserve some time for yourself and that sounds like the perfect afternoon!

I do look forward to the coming posts, too!

Anonymous said...

Butterfly.

You made me cry.

I'm not the amazing one,
You are...
And don't you ever forget it.

You make my journey so much easier just by being.

Love you
Jo

SailLttleboat07 said...

Alessea-
Thanks for commenting about the TENS...I would like the info that you have but I do not have your e-mail... mine is SailLttleboat07@gmail.com
Thanks Rosemary

Secret Scientist said...

Hello Alessea and friends
This is my last ever posting…..
I wanted to say that it is really important to find belief, support and courage in others.
I am in awe at Melody Gardot – Not only do I like her music (she’s in the same kind of mould as Norah Jones) but she has come through so much and has proven all her doubters wrong.
Basically, she had a terrible accident at 19 (now 27) which left her with permanent acute and chronic pain.
She also now has autonomic nervous system dysfunction, acute sensitivity to light and sound plus a million other things (partial blindness etc).
She was told she would never talk again let alone sing - she sings beautifully.
She was told she would never play keyboard or guitar again – she does so beautifully.
She was told she would never cut an album – she did one track in her hospital bed and has now released her second full album.
She was told she would never sit long enough to do anything – She wears a TENS unit to get her through her busy day.
She was told she could never do a concert tour. She is planning to do a full European tour this year (might have already done it?).
Anyway, she is one of the two people who inspire me to carry on. (You are the other one Alessea.)

I hope that you good folk may find similar inspiration in this amazing person.
I wish that I had the sort of friends that you have Alessea – To be constantly “touched” in this way must be so so .... can't think of good enough words really.
I will watch from afar but will not post again.

Your distant but loyal friend.
SS
xxooxx

Anonymous said...

Thank you Butterfly,
Its beautiful,

It'll take pride of plave on the shelf....

God Bless
Have a good week at home and take it easy on yourself..
Let Mum spoil you,
Thats what Mum's are for...

See you Friday.

Love you

Tough Cookie said...

I'm so glad you had the time to do some relaxing, and I am so thrilled to know you have such a good friend there to support you. I know it is difficult during graduate school, but people like us need time to relax and should make taking time out a priority. We may have to put other things on hold but it is so beyond worth it.

Thinking of you!

How are you doing?

Caf said...

Fabuloso!! I am so glad to get to the 'turn around' day post...so well deserved =D